Back in 2019, I was very upset about climate change and its effect on the environment.  So, I decided to have a conversation with my good friend, God.

Zola: “It’s been almost 40 years since they defined the term climate change and they’ve done nothing to reverse it!  I can’t take much more of this, God.  I seek vengeance.”

God: “Hmm… you realize what you’re suggesting is World War 3, right?”

Zola: “Yes!  But companies these days are all about branding.  Is there another way to “sell” this… war?”

God: “Sure.  Hand me that purple box over there, would ya?”

Zola: “This one?  It’s addressed to… Pandora?”

God: “That’s the one.  Pandora’s box.  All you need to do is open this near an animal of your choice.  Preferably something dark and scary — a bat, maybe?”

Zola: “Ok.  And where would I find this bat?”

God: “Doesn’t really matter, but I suggest an up and coming superpower, like China.  I love rooting for the underdog.  It will spread worldwide in a few months.”

Zola: “What is in this box?  A curse of some kind?”

God: “A plague like no other.  Oh, sorry, branding… let’s call it a “pandemic”.  There will be plenty of death, sickness, suffering, fear.  Basically, everything you want in a war — but in the form of a virus.”

Zola: “Virus?  Come on. There are tons of viruses out there.  What would distinguish this one from the rest?”

God: “Branding again?!  Alright, what’s my personal brand?”

Zola: “Uhm… You’re omnipotent, omni-benevolent.  The King of Kings…”

God: “I like that: king.  A crown.  Let’s throw some Latin flavour and… corona.  Coronavirus!”

Zola: “You watch too many beer commercials.  But alright, we now have a name.  Are you sure this will work?”

God: “Positive.  This virus will be ubiquitous and disrupt the lives of all humanity.  It will impact the rich and the poor equally; believers and non-believers alike.  It’s unbiased in its reach and it’s invisible to the naked eye.”

Zola: “To fight it, they will need to cooperate and unite at the global scale to develop a vaccine.”

God: “Oh, they will be making more than one vaccine.  And the virus will mutate and form variants, requiring more vaccines.  It’ll be an ongoing thing.  

But yes, they will eventually overcome and win.  However, just like in war, there will be some casualties — I’ll be speaking with them shortly.  But, the ones that stop and listen to authority will survive. They will thrive.”

Zola: “In this case, by ‘authority’ you mean public health authorities. Scientists, engineers, public health workers, and so forth?”

God: “Yes, and once they tackle this issue, they will have the confidence and ambition to tackle yours.”

Zola: “Perfect!  Thank you, God, for all your help.”

God: “No Zola, thank you — especially for all the branding tips!

… Maybe it’s time for me to create an Instagram account?”