In preparation for this season, I was often asked about my personal view on God. That’s complicated. I see him through the lens of 6 different characters. But this entry is about Neil (the human) so let’s see…
I see God as my conscience. Whenever I need to contemplate a difficult decision, I imagine that I’m having a conversation with God. Scientifically, what I’m really doing is conversing with my super-ego.
Your id is the basic, primal part of personality. Your ego represents your regular, everyday self. But your super-ego plays the critical and moralizing role in your life. So, I imagine God to be very much like me, but the highest authority in the universe. It’s actually really cool because in debates, neither of us hold back! This is also where my true inspiration comes from.
Speaking of discussions with God, the inspiration for this website came to me in 2019. I was just listening to random songs on Spotify, then I heard Post Malone – Circles.
That song spoke directly to my soul. Almost like he knew my life story and articulated it to perfection.
In particular, these lyrics really hit home:
Maybe you don’t understand what I’m going through
It’s only me, what you got to lose?
Make up your mind, tell me, what are you gonna do?
It’s only me, let it go…
After listening to the song a few more times, I decided it was time. I had the characters sketched back in 2010, so now I just needed to get them illustrated. And I had to write; write like I’ve never written before.
This started out as a personal journal in 2020. It evolved into a massive public platform which speaks to a diverse global community. Truly amazing.
I have 2 role models that I looked to for inspiration when building this site. The first is Noah, from Genesis in the Bible. He built an ark to save his family and animals from a great flood enveloping the Earth. In my case, the “ark” is this website, my “family” is you, and the “flood” is the deluge of disinformation I saw back in 2019 all over the internet.
As you know, my goal is to defend the truth, and when you’re inundated with fake news, lies and propaganda everywhere you look… you reach a point where you feel you have no choice but to take a stand against it.
My second role model is Neo from “The Matrix” movie. Yes, we have similar names, professions, and I happened to work for a company named “Matrix”, but that’s all just a coincidence.
Neo is also an anagram of “one”, a reference to his destiny of being The One who would bring peace. Neo is considered to be a superhero. Is there really any wonder as to why I’d choose a programmer/superhero as a role model?
My goal of creating this site is to create a world I could actually enjoy living in. I wanted to attract like-minded individuals (i.e. YOU) and invite them in! Of course, these said individuals are as unique and diverse as can be. I fully believe that you represent a cross-section of modern-day society.
Secondly, I wanted to connect with people on a deeper level than one would with a simple handshake in the real world. I figured that if I shared details of my personal life, it might resonate with others that went through similar experiences. We’d form an unbreakable bond, regardless of where we are physically in the world.
Thirdly, I feel like this is my true calling. It’s not my vocation — more of an avocation really. Still, I feel like I’m God’s “messenger” at times and that if he were physically here, he’d be saying the exact same stuff that I am to you.
So what’s next? Well there’s one last blog entry to write, and then I’ll take a break. There are so many books, videos and movies I’ve been told to view for inspiration and asked to give feedback on!